Guts

Hip Bone to hip bone

my betrayal spills out the gash

         viscera tangling at my feet.

I try to stride to the judge

          trip over my guts

fall.

Knee in the crimson puddle I stuff myself

          back in my belly

wrap my poncho about my waist

          knot it square

and press on.

Temple to temple

my anguish clouts my forehead

          the killing floor greets my face.

I hang by my heels above,

          my carotid not yet slit,

stunned.

A slab of beef, I awaken to horror

          quarters surround me

I reach up and pull out the hooks

          drop on the glutinous concrete

stand, press on.

Buttress to buttress

          my acceptance spans the gorge

between agony and growth.

I step onto the weathered planks

creaking and groaning

         I balk.

Winds of denial buffet me

          yet I receive the benediction

and grace to continue

          below lies doubt in ambush

I engage.

Aspen to willow

          my rebirth blooms by sagebrush

a new crocus amongst the dun timothy.

I swish through the crisp dry hay

          tenderly miss petals

breathe.

The crotch of an ancient ponderosa pine

          invites my seat

I gaze at the far horizon

          smog covered peaks entice me

I am born!

For Marlise

The Gorge

The precipice beckons
Behind, terror stalks
        And malice waits
Squeezed
         Between expectation and responsibility .

I raise my beacon,
          Flames flicker on myriad eyes.
Shredded thoughts lay around my feet.

I stretch my other arm across the gorge
And grasp a calloused hand.
           "Jump brother. You are not heavy."
I stand streadfast.

For Cecil

The future of Maerlande on the interweb

Yesterday was a red letter day.  I emailed Elizabeth Vonarburg to request permission to use Maerlande, my online persona for almost 20 years, in my new business ventures.  She responded within a few hours with YES based on my plans for the business designing and selling garden and yard thingies.

This is very brilliant.  So for anyone reading, here is her book that started my online life as Maerlande: The Maerlande Chronicles